


Frank the Weiner Dog

by Fallenstar126



Series: Frerard stuff [6]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, C R A C K, Cats, Crack, Dogs, Frank the Weiner dog, Gen, Gerard the cat, I don't know what I'm doing, let me get this very clear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenstar126/pseuds/Fallenstar126
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Franks a vegetarian Weiner dog.</p><p>No I'm being serious right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The first encounter

Frank Iero was a weiner dog. But, even though he didn’t understand people would chuckle fondly at him whenever they learned his name, he was the happiest weiner dog around. He lived with a nice family, with three kids, who would always chase him around the yard and sing songs that he could howl along to in the background. He loved the kids, and their mother always kept him well fed, even after finding out about his strange problem with meat. Whenever he ate it, no matter what type of meat it was, he would get sick. 

So now he was Frank the vegetarian weiner dog; which was a cause for confusion for most people, but he didn’t care. He was a dog. 

Now, it was just a normal day at his house, and he had just been let out for his morning run of the yard, making sure there were no intruders to harm the kids, when he came across a sleek black cat nestled in the leaves of the hedge at the back of the lawn. He dropped down lower (as if that were possible), and shuffled forward. The cat, however, noticed him almost immediately, and rolled over, staring at him with a large yawn. 

“Who are you?” Frank the weiner dog asked enthusiastically, rushing forward and beginning to sniff the strange cat heavily. The cat hissed, pulling away, and fixing him with a stare. 

“Why should it matter to you?” The cat replied after a moment, deeming him safe and sitting up properly back on his hunches.

“Okay… Well, are you a stray?” Frank said, his tongue lolling out of his mouth lazily. The cat’s eyes narrowed, and he shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yes, what does that matter?” Frank the weiner dog frowned for a moment, staring at the cat’s neck. 

“Then what’s that band around your neck?”

“It’s not a band, it’s an idea.” The cat replied cooly, before shaking his head, ears flicking the cold water off of the tips, and he brought his paw to his mouth, quickly cleaning his fur of the leaves that had gathered over night, but still managed to look greasy and unkept. 

“You’re a weird cat.” 

“Thanks, I don’t exactly want to be cool.” 

“You look pretty cold to me.” 

“Shut up.” Frank the weiner dog barked with laughter, before glancing back towards the door as he heard one of the children knocking on the door, trying to get him to come back inside. 

“I have to go.” The cat’s eyes narrowed again, and he quickly turned tail, and walked through the hedge. Frank was mystified by the cat, but also wanted to be friends with him. 

Frank the weiner dog shook himself, standing back up, and started towards the warmth of the house, and his vegetarian dog kibble.


	2. The second coming

Frank found another cat sitting in the hedge that afternoon, but this time he was smaller, skinnier, and blond. He walked towards the cat, tilting his head. This one seemed more serious than the first, if that was possible. Its eyes were slits as he stared down at the dog, already suspicious. 

“Can I help you?” Frank the weiner dog asked curiously, glancing behind him as the children had stopped to wonder what he was looking at.

“Why were you talking to Gerard?” The cat asked suddenly, his voice melotone and almost annoyed. 

“He was sleeping in the hedge, and I saw him. I’m guessing you’re talking about the greasy black cat that was here earlier?” the blonde cat glared at him, nodding. 

“He was weird, what was the whole ‘it’s not a band, it’s an idea’ thing about anyway?” Frank the weiner dog was staring back at the cat so intensely he almost didn’t see Lily, one of the children, bending down and reaching out to pet the cat, with an excited squeal. 

“Kitty!” 

“I’M NOT A CAT, I’M A UNICORN YOU FUCK!” The cat hissed, batting at her with his claws. Frank quickly jumped forward, barking loudly and the cat raced off, tail held high as he jumped through the hedge. Lily looked upset, but Frank the weiner dog knew that she wouldn’t cry. She was a big girl. Lily frowned at the hedge before gathering herself back up, and standing up, taking her little sister and brothers hands, and walking inside calmly, where Frank knew she would let herself into her mothers bedroom where she was taking a nap, and start talking animatedly about the cat she had seen. Her mother would smile, and get up to make them lunch. 

Hmm… lunch. Frank the weiner dog took one last look towards the hedge to make sure that the cats weren’t coming back yet, and trotted towards the doggie door, letting himself in. He would come back later to deal with them, and though he didn’t want to chase them off, they had scared Lily, and he wouldn’t stand for that. Not on his turf, no siree.

He emerged from his house that evening for one last run of the yard, and quickly saw the blonde and black cat sitting side by side at the edge of the lawn. He sprinted towards them, ready to make them leave after psyching himself up for it all day, when he noticed both of their furs seemed more matted than before, and the blond had a hint of copper to him that wasn’t there before. He came to a halt before the cats, fixing them with a stern stare.

The stare revealed that the copper wasn’t just the setting sun, it was actually a faint hint of blood covering the fur in random spots, and the blonde cats fur had been torn in tufts in certain places. When Frank the weiner dog turned his gaze to the black cats, he noticed the same treatment, if not more harsh. 

Frank let out a sigh, he couldn’t chase the cats off, not like this. Not while they were injured. The black cat seemed to understand his sigh, and relaxed slightly, shoulders slouching into a more at ease state. 

“What happened?” Was the first thing Frank the weiner dog asked, and the blonde cat let out a soft irritated sound. The black cat shot his brother, Frank assumed, a look, before he drew in a large breath, and began to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY MIKEY PUNS BESIDES THE UNICORN THING BUT I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE WILL CONTAIN LOTS

**Author's Note:**

> I actually don't know why I made this, but hey it's a thing.
> 
> I am putting myself through college rn, so if you have a spare few dollars, maybe toss me a couple bucks for a coffee! http://ko-fi.com/humanwreakage


End file.
